Sophie: eheheheh…mama dun leave me, ok!
Our grandparents from Sandakan were here recently and more than 7 weeks Sophie stays at home with them plus babah worked on night shifts. When everybody no longer at home, no more avail people to look after Sophie, we had to send her back to Mrs. Nanny (kak zila) who lives just next to our house.
A very heart-wrenching scene took place when I brought her to Mrs. Nanny’s house for a visit. Sophie cried loudly and her hands kept on moving in the air ~ a sense of trying to hold mama tightly when Kak zila approached her. She would probably be thinking that I’d be lost like forever if other people take her.
She had forgotten her nanny! Pling! Flashback the reminiscence, I read in a newspaper article highlighting about baby’s short-term memory. Give a yes that young child has a hard time with separation because they do not have a sense of time and they do not understand about work and daycare.
Taken from a useful parenting article, here are some ways to help you and your child reduce anxiety during partings:
1. Build a positive relationship with your care provider. She can be a great help during stressful times when your child demands your attention and you are not able to oblige. Do not feel threatened by her or treat her as a competitor. She is there to assist you. (Our nanny is so friendly; we are so comfortable with her and family)
2. Goodbyes should be brief. Long goodbyes are better left for the movies. If your child has problems separating from you, it is more difficult for him when you keep giving one more hug or kiss. Do not feel bad when your child screams “I hate you” as you leave. Your child still loves you no matter what.~ (Know what, for now Kak Zila has to wear scarf every time we leave Sophie. Sophie has this idea for good~ wearing scarf equal to nak pergi jalan-jalan.”)
3. If your child is having difficulty adjusting to daycare after several weeks, conduct spot checks to see how your child is adjusting. Is there something troubling her? You may want to hold off making any changes such as getting her to sleep in her own room or getting rid of his favourite comforter when she starts daycare.(erm, Sophie can lay down anywhere but now, she hates sleeping in the crib.Becozzzz she wants to roll her body here and there on bed. So guess where are we every night? Babah and mama separately sleep at very narrow positions of our bed edges …Sophie conquers most spaces…huhuu..Tak yah conduct spot check la wat mase nih..Alhamdulillah)
4· Prepare for the morning rush. Goodbyes are more difficult when parents are anxious in the mornings. If you are stretched for time when you say your goodbyes, your child will pick up from your non-verbal cues. Give yourself and your child ample time in the morning by preparing everything the night before. Wake your child up with a smile and say: “We are going to have a great day today.” ~ (Ermm, well she understands and behaves well when mama say: “Don’t cry mama going to work.ok”. Sophie must wakes up to see me out. If she still sleeping when I am about to go, then I will receive a call in office saying that she is searching for me..ma..ma..ma..ma)
5. Celebrate your getting back with your child. Before doing anything else, spend the first hour with your child after you pick him up from daycare. Have a wonderful chat about your day at work and the daycare. Play a game or two. Go for a walk together. This antidote for stress works all the time. (Of course, we always have an itsy bitsy spider game..Sophie loves it!)
We gotta find a school for her ya..a nursery school perhaps..
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